spring cleaning: part un

It's that time of year again, the weather is having sudden bursts of warmth and sun, it's a sign of Spring Cleaning! There are only two things in my room that's accumulated in a craze, and those would be my book collection ("The Library" as my friends refer to it) and clothing. Every summer, I tend to go on a reckless shopping spree. What can I say? Retail therapy is amazing, even though I have no reason to need the therapeutic part. It's just this bad habit, whenever I pass by a thrift store, I must pop in for a second. That second lasts for at least half an hour, and I rarely leave empty handed. If I don't go in, the thought will just keep nagging at me for the rest of the day, until in the end, I surrender and go back anyway.

Back to my anecdote. By the end of summer, after galavanting through thrift stores, garage/yard sales, discount stores, and the occasional mall, I have amassed a small Everest of items that takes over half of my floor space. I know I have to stop, I'm working on that. Bit by bit, I'm weaning off. This summer, my goal is to only spend, at the absolute most, $200. Including back to school clothing. As for food, school fees, gas, car insurance, bills; basic necessities, that's a completely different matter. But I refuse to spend more than $50 a month when eating out, not including groceries. As for school materials, there's WalMart and Office Depot and their sales. I'm definitely signing up early to rent texts from the school bookstore for the Fall. From now on, I'm not treating friends, until I have a steady income coming in, and all my financial needs are met.

Here's a photo of my pile of novels I got rid of, and donating. Count: 50. Left: around 300. I have a very long way to go from here. Good luck to me!

boredom

When boredom consumes me, I tend to change my appearance or living space drastically. Just because subtlety isn't going to cut it for me. Sometimes, I just can't focus on reading one of the many historical fictions I currently own. Maybe it's because I need to move around every now and then, if I had a book plastered on my immediate vision, I'd probably make a mess of my whole apartment. Which reminds me, I need to stop buying books. I should just make one day in the week for me to spend the whole day in Barnes & Noble to read. Sure, the option to buy from thrift stores or garage sales are there, even online scans of novels, but I just like having the material rather than through technology. Either way, I should just cut down on constantly shopping for books. Used or new. I'm in college, I need to conserve my money for tuition, textbooks, and materials. Unfortunately for me, those textbooks are bout as interesting as watching paint dry.

So what I've caught myself doing lately is slowly changing my physical appearance. Yes, slowly, though in not-too-subtle-ways. So far, I've gotten a haircut (3 inches); shorter fringes, more layers, and a bit of light ash blonde under at the back as well as a bit of under my fringes. Oh, I have natural black hair. Not dark, dark brown or brownish black or blue black. Just black. Really, really, really black. Not even any undertones. In the past few years, I've been dyeing and bleaching my hair though, so it's been through a lot. Now, it's back to normal, color-wise. I'm bored of it now, so back to multi-colored hair! It's been a few months since I've had colors on my hair, the last was natural red and honey blonde. I've some purple hair dye just in the wait, incase I feel spontaneous again, I'll add it into my current state.

I won't be going over the topic of my hair until there's yet another change to it. Though other changes are happening as I've mentioned. Including are: clearing out most of my 1000-something books, 2 medium-sized closets of clothing, and loads of papers from goodness knows where. Not to forget my room itself, I'm...redecorating. Taking down the wall posters, though keeping the door ones. I've been searching like crazy for black and white photos at thrift stores all over, but I've only had luck finding one fitting the look I'm going for. More shops to visit!

sad: seasonal affective disorder

A group of friends and I were having lunch earlier today, and we got into the discussion of how in the winter season, half if not a majority of people we know (including present company) seem to fall into a pattern every year. When the weather is pleasant and there's plenty of outdoor activities, just bout everyone is very agreeable, but when the sun practically disappears and it's very outcast, those gentle-tempered people turn introverted at some level. Out of us discussing it, my friend DL and I were told to be most affected by this type of mood disorder. I suppose that could be the reason why I lost some of my "energetic personality" since I came back from my vacation at the Islands. Which, by the way, has 85 degree winters. If I look back at my time on holiday, I did have much energy and I didn't need an alarm to haul myself off of bed in the mornings. In fact, I actually slept! This is a big deal considering here in the States, I'm pretty nocturnal; my bouts of insomnia spans for a few weeks at a time. Probably because of the heat, unlike the days, it's not very humid at night. So I had 6 or 7 hour nightly sleep, which was heaven compared to none or 3 to 4 hour nights. I also lost most of my appetite, which is amazing since sometimes I still inhale food when I'm bursting in the seams. Man, I didn't need to go to the gym! Just walk outside for a bit and I'm drenched in my sweat (ewh. I know).

Anyroad...when DL and I listened to our friends' semi-amateur 'analysis' (one was a Psych major), it really made sense to us. DL and I usually wait for events, activities, or friends to contact us before we "go out and have fun" around wintertime. While in the sunnier weather, it's usually the 2 of us planning all the shenanigans that go on within our immediate circle. I think it's bout time we do something to change this little predicament we're in. I for one should get out more often. I've been hiding in my room or bookstores whenever there's a party or such that I get invited to. I've even been skipping out on trips to the beach when it's not raining. Though it may be freezing beyond belief, it's nice to run away to the beach in between classes. Gotta the freedom to pick the time for your classes in college. I think I've exhausted this topic enough for now. I definitely will be coming back to review this again in a few days.

Oh, and for those of you who do read my posts, sorry I haven't been to able to blog much the past few days. And I won't be able to for the rest of the week. At least not until the weekend. Too much to do for the moment to get ahead. As for the SM updates that seem to entertain some of you (okay, just LS), I'll have a post dedicated to my progress in the series so far. But I gotta say, I'm past the halfway point. I just couldn't help myself and watched diligently when I'm not napping at night. There goes my "resting periods".

don't make it rain©

I'm drowning in my sorrows

Bury me in my secrets

I'm being left in my pain

And my dreams are being taken away

I never said it would be easy

It's tough and it gets tougher

Falling down where you belong

Was never suppose to end like this

I wish I could be you

Happy and only getting happier

Never felt a rush of pain

Always walking in the rain

Though your absence makes me sad

I've always been jealous of what you've had

Guess it wasn't meant to be

It was never you, and always me

C. M. de Leon

(2002)